Scripture: “While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” Matthew 12:46-50 ESV
Observation: At some point after Jesus withdrew from the Capernaum synagogue (12:15) and engaged in a rather intense dialogue with the Pharisees, Mark tells us in his parallel passage that Jesus returned home and entered a house (Mark 3:20, 31) to teach a crowd who sat around him (Mark 3:20, 31). The gathering would include his disciples and those curious about his radical new teaching. And no doubt, the room was packed with keen listeners.
At some point during this time frame, Jesus’ mother and brother learn of his whereabouts and send a messenger to request that he come and speak to them. (In this instance, the reason for their request is unknown and unimportant to Matthew.) Without missing a beat, Jesus seizes the moment as a teaching point. Following the rabbinical style of asking a question to deepen one’s understanding, Christ rhetorically asks the messenger, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” (v.48b) And stretching out the same hand that extended a healing touch to the leper (8:3), Jesus announces another radical element about his kingdom that brings wholeness to his subjects: “whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother” (v.50).
Takeaway: Most scholars agree that Jesus is not disparaging his blood ties. He will later denounce the religious leaders for encouraging fellow Israelites to neglect the care of their parents by contriving a loophole called Corban (Mark 7:11-12). And he will instruct John to care for his mother in his absence (John 19:26-27). So what is his point? Those who do the will of the Father are his closest ties and of eternal import. But our earthly relations will end with this life. And as we enter his heavenly kingdom, we will become like the angels—no longer connected by our earthly marriages (Matthew 22:30). Still, we will find our eternal intimacy and joy collectively as the bride of our bridegroom (Christ). See Paul’s marriage imagery of Christ and his church (Ephesians 5:25-32) and John’s revelation of Christ’s return (Revelation 19:7-9; 21:2-9) for a fuller understanding.
So if caring for our families is essential to God, but our priority is to do the Father’s will, where’s the balance? As mentioned in previous Daily Focus devotions, Jesus’ disciple John provides us with the most extensive discourse between Jesus and his disciples as they leave their last seder meal together and walk toward Gethsemane. Here, Jesus emphasizes that if his disciples love him, they will keep his commandments (14:15, 21, 23, 24; 15:10). This is not conditional love, for he died for us while we were still his enemies (Romans 5:7-8). It’s a cause-and-effect love: “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19). Thus, we express our love toward him by obeying his good and righteous commands (which are the same as the Father’s will). And when we do, when we prioritize our love and obedience for the Father and Son, we will better love our families here and now.
Prayer: Father God, we thank you and your Son for loving us at an unfathomable cost even while we were your enemies. Still, we confess we struggle to walk out our love for both of you through obedience to your will. So would you please help to submit to the refining work of your Holy Spirit and prioritize our love for and obedience to you so that we might also love our families well? Amen.
Rev. Gordon Green, M.Div., M.A. Counseling