Scripture: Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us). When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus.
Matthew 1:18-25 ESV
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Observation: Recapping yesterday’s Daily Focus, Matthew begins with the genealogy of Jesus Christ, which confirms one critical aspect of the plethora of messianic prophecies: he was born from the tribe of Judah (Genesis 49:10). Thus, Matthew, appealing to his converted Jewish audience, follows Jesus’ earthly father’s lineage and candidly includes the names of five women who are part of Jesus’ ancestral heritage: Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba (unnamed as the wife of Uriah), and Mary, the young virgin and biological mother of Jesus, by whom the Holy Spirit conceived her Christ-child.
Today’s reading presents Jesus’ birth story, as told by Matthew, which briefly focuses on Joseph (in keeping with citing Jesus’ genealogy through Joseph’s line). Verse 18 tells us that Joseph and Mary were not married but betrothed. Thus, when Joseph learns that Mary is pregnant, being a kind and godly man, he decides to discretely divorce her to avoid adding to her shame (v.19). So, the Lord sends an angel to speak to Joseph in a dream and announces what the prophet Isaiah foretold: “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel” (v.23), quoted from Isaiah 7:14. Thus when Joseph awakes from his dream, he follows the angel’s directive and marries Mary and abstains from sex until she gave birth to the Christ-child (vv.24-25).
Matthew then concludes his version of the birth story by telling his readers that Joseph named his stepson Jesus (a derivation of Joshua, which means “God is salvation”). Matthew adds that Jesus’ prophetic messianic name, Immanuel, means “God with us.”
Historical note: Betrothal in ancient Israel was a binding covenant to marry; to sever it would require a writ of divorce. While stronger in commitment to our modern-day engagement, betrothal similarly entailed the preparation of the couple for marriage, which included sexual abstinence (as practiced from our biblical worldview).
Also, in ancient Israel, if a woman conceived a child outside of wedlock and incurred divorce, she would be cast to the margins of society, likely for the rest of her life.
Takeaway: Theologically, we may deduce from this passage that God is faithful, gracious, and holy.
- He is faithful in being true to his word foretold through the prophet Isaiah.
- He is gracious in caring for the needs of the chosen mother of his incarnate Son.
- He is holy and, consequently, will not draw near the presence of unatoned sin.
Thus, Mary must remain sexually pure until after the birth of Jesus to ensure the Messiah does not inherit sin from the line of Adam.
Our takeaway? To be clear, avoiding conjugal relations has nothing to do with our Creator’s view of sex, which he blesses within monogamous marriages where both partners selflessly seek to please their partner. Instead, the issue here is unatoned sin. We see a model of how a Christ-centered marriage should function from the atoning work of Christ’s substitutionary death and resurrection. Paul dives into this ultimate reality of likening Christ’s intimate relation with his church to the marriage covenant in his letter to the Ephesians. In Ephesians 5:22-33, he exhorts husbands to love their wives sacrificially (placing their wives’ needs over their desires) and wives to respect their husbands, which may prove to be sacrificial when the husband’s behavior is ungodly.
Our part? We must see the bigger picture. How? Even with infidelity, where divorce is warranted, the offended spouse must take the high road and not pursue revenge. Because if we succumb to our emotions and seek the harm of our offending spouse, we deny the grace and forgiveness of our Lord to them and us. But if we follow Joseph’s example and wait on our Lord to show us the bigger picture and next steps, he will guide us to godly friends and counselors who help us persevere through our hurt feelings and work toward forgiveness, where we find restoration for our souls. All the while, Immanuel is with us, saving us from ourselves.
Pastoral note: In any abusive relationship, the persecuted partner should take immediate measures to protect themselves and their children from further harm. The above discussion solely pertains to refraining from exacting revenge and withholding forgiveness.
Prayer: Father God, we thank you for your Son, who saw the bigger picture as the Savior of our world. So, please help us follow his and his stepfather’s examples and wait for you to reveal your broader purposes and next steps when hurt by our spouses (or anyone). And please help us follow the Holy Spirit’s lead to resist seeking revenge and instead work toward forgiveness. Amen.
Rev. Gordon Green, M.Div., M.A. Counseling
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